Add this William “Freddie” McCullough obit to your southern culture section.
William “Freddie” McCullough: Grilling, Guns, Harley’s and Women
A Georgia man who died last week might not have been a living legend. But his obituary is already legendary.
“Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him,” William “Freddie” McCullough’s obituary, published Saturday in the Savannah Morning News, reads. “Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups [sic] and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order.”
The 61-year-old Bloomingdale, Ga., father of six and grandfather of seven “hated vegetables and hypocrites” and was “a master craftsman who single-handedly built his beautiful house from the ground up.”
McCullough “was also great at growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and ribs, popping wheelies on his Harley at 50 mph, making everyone feel appreciated and hitting Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45.”
He loved to tell stories, “and you could be sure 50% of every story was true. You just never knew which 50%.”
“Freddie adored the ladies,” the death notice, written by his son, Mark McCullough, continues. “And they adored him. There isn’t enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie’s past. There isn’t enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book. … He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy’s.”
According to his obituary, McCullough “was killed when he rushed into a burning orphanage to save a group of adorable children. Or maybe not. We all know how he liked to tell stories.”
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