Just when I think I’ve heard it all, I come across something that makes me pause in disgust. This week, I read an article from the Huffington Post titled, “How Do You Feel about Sex and Teenage Sleepovers?”
There’s no doubt how I feel, but let’s first take a look at what the author said. In the first paragraph she asks, “Why not teach children how to have sex well, the way you teach them how to do other things?” She elaborates, describing parents inviting the teenager’s partner over, having a nice dinner and then the couple “toddles” off to bed together. (In reality, that’s just permitting the behavior to take place, not actually educating.)
Then she goes further stating, “It seems logical to me that the same way I try to teach my kids to exercise, sleep well and be good people, I would teach them to have healthy sex with other good people.” Appalling mental scenarios come to mind, but I’m not going there.
The author’s arguments in the article are built on a number of faulty premises. I’ll address three:
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Chemaly explains she was prompted to discuss the idea after homosexual humorist Henry Alford penned a New York Times column called “Sex in a Teenager’s Room?”
Though Alford admits he has no children, he claimed he would permit a 16-year-old daughter to have a boyfriend stay the night, but a 14-year-old? No, that would be too young.
Chemaly, on the other hand, didn’t set a specific age limit in her column.
“Would you rather teach your kids that sex is dangerous and forbidden or that it is permissible and … well, awesome?” she asks. “It seems logical to me that the same way I try to teach my kids to exercise, sleep well and be good people, I would teach them to have healthy sex and sleep with other good people.”
Chemaly sets up a dichotomy in her column between parents who fall into either the “responsible-sex-is-good” category or the “scare-them-silly” category.
Nowhere does her column address the biblical position of marital sex as both “responsible” and “awesome,” but fornication as sinful before God and hurtful to the people involved.
Chemaly’s column, in fact, contends forbidding sex is part of the problem, and abstinence-based sex ed – which she describes as “slut-shaming” and “homophobic” – only pushes teens to explore their sexuality without meaningful parental instruction.
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